PALM BEACH TO FORT LAUDERDALE

STRETCHING EXERCISES

We left about 8:00 AM, at slack.  I had to ask a diver that was nearby to throw the lines on for us.  The boat was so low to the dock this morning that it was impossible for me to get on and off quickly and safely.  I forgot to mention again the difficulty of getting on and off the boat with these darn fixed docks around here.  I guess that might be another thing they might have had a little chuckle about here at the docks and that would be to watch us climb our way on and off the docks each day.   Sometimes the boat was so low we’d have to swing ole’ Zig up and on the dock.   Our old stiff bodies managed though.  We now consider it our daily routine of stretching exercises.

CLEAN WATER

Yesterday we pumped the tank and filled the water tank.  Again, pumping the tank is so easy and accessible here in Florida and so far the water we cruise in is absolutely crystal clear and clean because of it.  They are doing a great job protecting their waters and we could all do well to follow suit.  They make it easy and accessible by bringing the pump-out hose right to your boat in your slip.   There are no excuses not to keep the poop out of the water!   

DAMN DEPTH SOUNDER

That damn depth sounder is acting up again!  It’s getting to be an old rerun.  That thing is really putting a real wrench in our travels.  We both look at each other with concern again as we don’t have to say a word to each other as we both know it isn’t good.  We just have to have that thing working to get us down to the Keys and up the other side as there is nothing but shallow waters ahead.  Larry begins what is becoming a quite common activity and that is punching the buttons to reset the damn thing.

I look back at Palm Beach as we leave.  It’s quite impressive.  We sure enjoyed our stay there.  We even thought it would be a good place to stay long term in the boat if our agenda wasn’t always to be on the move cruising, but I think we will always think we have places to go and see. 

BUSY ON THE ICW

The waters are busy today as the Miami Boat Show just ended and boats are moving up and down the ICW like a busy freeway heading back to their home ports.  We managed to squeeze under several low bridges again which is always fun.  We’ve passed masses of 6 and 7 story condos now, mile after mile of them.  That’s one of several things I don’t like about the Fort Lauderdale area.  We decided to hang back and wait for an opening at the Lantana Bridge as it looked like a close call on the height.   We hovered around in the current waiting fifteen minutes for the 9:00 opening.  The bridge tender wasn’t very friendly on the radio, too bad. 

STARVING

We arrived in the Fort Lauderdale area around noon and haven’t had a thing to eat.  We were getting hungry as we passed several dockside restaurants.  They looked like they’ve met some hard times during this troubled economy as several were closed and boarded up.  As we scooted under the Boynton Avenue Bridge we finally passed two restaurants that were open on our portside.  I suggested to Larry that we consider stopping for lunch.  Why not?  We’ve always wanted to do that and why not today?

So we make a big U-turn.  I get the lines and fenders ready and we slowly head up to the dock.  We are immediately met by a very efficient dock hand and he gets us quickly tied up.  At first we have second thoughts because the wakes from boats going by seem to be a bit much.  We stand and watch the boat rock crazily back and forth for several minutes before we rationalized that she was tied well enough to not get banged up.  There are thick rubber railings on the dock so it should be fine.

We are immediately met by the hostess with two menus and seated at a table right next to the boat.  Zig can join us on the dock too.  Wow, I like this.  It was really fun though a bit nerve wracking as boats went by and amazingly think nothing of waking the dock.  The dock hand is pretty savvy about getting the boats tied up but still it was unnerving to see all the posted signs on the dock posts saying “the management relinquishes all responsibility for any damage that may occur to your boat while docking at this enterprise”. 

So with that in mind we couldn’t help but gulp the food down as quickly as possible and then emphatically wave the waitress down to get a check and not surprisingly scramble out of there as soon as possible. 

OK, burp, we’ve now been there done that. 

NO MORE WILD LIFE

Did I forget to mention there are no birds anymore?  No more of those goofy cormorants sitting on every marker.  Not even the prehistoric looking pelicans with their amazingly wide wing spans.  Yep, once we got to Palm Beach they were mysteriously absent and continued to be as we headed south, well except for an occasional small white egret or two that we’d see hunting for a worm (?) in someone’s well cut lawn.  That and no more dolphin but we still have those manatee signs.  It’s still amazing as they are supposed to be everywhere but we still don’t see a one.

But, what we did see when we got to Fort Lauderdale in the Las Olas area were packs of wild parrots.  They were screechy and wild and flew about like pilot whales, loud and fast and in big groups.   I did see one little grey heron nearby the boat but that’s about it.

CRAZY BOATERS   

As we neared the Fort Lauderdale area the houses got bigger and more flamboyant and so did the boats and their captains’ egos.  Some of the captains were just plain stupid.  One guy didn’t know which side to pass on, or maybe he was just being stubborn as he literally passed everybody starboard to starboard in the ICW against traffic like going the wrong way on the freeway.  Everyone had to move over into the oncoming traffic side to let him pass.  Another, a sail boater, plopped himself right in the center of the channel perpendicular to the flow of traffic blocking everybody while they adjusted their sails.  They were completely oblivious to the congestion and confusion they were causing as they gave everyone a friendly little wave thanking you them for going around and not hitting him. 

These examples weren’t the most surprising though as you could just chock those up to ignorance.  It was the ones with ill intentions that really got our dander’s up.  They are the ones that were acting like show offs and waked the crap out of you. 

The worst wake we experienced was just after we left the restaurant.  A big dark hulled rubber ducky was showing off for his buddies and half naked lady friends as he raced by us and another sports fisher up ahead of us at what seemed like an incredible 20 knots in a NO WAKE ZONE, yes, I said and I repeat a NO WAKE ZONE!    

Thank God we got the boat off that restaurant dock just in the nick of time as I can only imagine what damage he could have done to our boat speeding by there like that.   Nevertheless, he waked the crap out of us and the sports fisher anyway.  My anger got the best of me that time and though I never get on the radio much, I got on and angrily yelled at him and then proceeded to call him an A___ H____.  You can fill in the blanks I guess.   I’m not sorry either for that poor behavior on my part.

If all this wasn’t enough, the Miami Boat Show just finished and boat delivery guys were racing to deliver as many boats as possible back to their home ports and need I say, as quickly as possible.  It was a stressful drive to say the least. 

No one slows down either as they speed up and pass from behind without any warning.  We began to use the rear view video camera that the past owner installed on the boat.  Now I understand its usefulness.  When we’d spy one on the screen careening towards us with an incredible big wake flaring out from each side of their bow, we’d slow down to make it obvious that we were lowering our wake and more or less asking for a calm pass, but 90% would make no move to do the same. 

You knew they knew they were wrong because they absolutely refused to have eye contact with you, in fact as they go by, they pretend as if you aren’t there.  Usually boaters wave to each other but not these jerks.  Sometimes we’d get so mad that when it became obvious they were going to wake us, we’d gun the engine hoping it would at least wake them back but it was just too late and then we’d get blasted again, over and over.  I’ve never seen anything like these Florida boaters. 

HEADING UP NEW RIVER, FORT LAUDERDALE

We finally made our turn to head up the New River in Fort Lauderdale.  There was a lot of traffic going up and down the river also if not more than in the ICW.  That’s because it’s a big tourist area and because there are several big boat yards and marinas located up river.  We passed big water taxis’, sightseeing boats, a big paddle wheeler,  flashy boats, little boats and monster boats too big to maneuver up the river without being towed front and back, many again from the Boat show.  It was utter chaos. 

Larry hailed the dock master while he maneuvered his way up the River and I got the lines and fenders ready.  He had made reservations about a week ago so they had a spot saved for us.  The dock master said it was a good location and close to everything. 

We were still following the sports fisher that also got wacked really bad by that blue hulled rubber ducky back by the dockside restaurant.  His hailing port was from San Diego!  That’s where we used to live for many years.  He was assigned a spot next to the bridge on the River Walk and we were assigned a spot a few yards down from him.  We were glad we didn’t get his space because he was going to have to deal with all the noise from the draw bridge and the cars going back and forth over the noisy metal grill.  It was bad enough for us but at least we were a few yards farther away.

DON’T EXPECT ANY HELP DOCKING

When you dock here you have to tie up to the concrete bulkhead of the river.  There are old wooden posts spaced every so many feet in front of the bulkhead.  You can lay your boat against the posts as opposed to laying her against the barnacle covered concrete wall.   Then you tie your lines around the posts and make sure you tie it so you have the proper length for the tide rising and lowering because this is not a floating dock situation. 

Larry was having a bit of a problem because the current and the wind was pushing him off the wall and preventing him from getting close enough for me to jump off.   This was going to be a first for us (having to jump off) because usually everywhere you go on the East Coast there are dockhands to take your lines because of the high docks and these dumb posts.  At this moment we had high tide and so I think I will be able to jump off if we can get the boat close enough in this wind.  If we had come at low tide I hate to think how we would do it.  I guess I would have to lasso the posts somehow. 

There were several posts half missing or rotten where we were assigned to dock.  Luckily I saw some metal cleats that were mounted to the top side of the concrete wall I guess put there to replace the missing posts.  I couldn’t believe it, a wonderful cleat!  I love cleats!

(By the way, the dock master is nowhere to be found to give anyone a hand so come prepared to do this yourself if you plan to stay here.)   

I finally was able to lasso that lovely cleat and literally pulled the boat up to the concrete wall.  By now someone from the boat in front and the sports fisher captain behind us came to our rescue and helped get our other lines secured.  I’m not sure how the sports fisher got tied up because he was running the boat by himself.  But his boat has thrusters front and back and the boat is higher and easier to get off.  So I guess that’s how he did it.

Just as we had all the lines set the dock master casually arrives on his bicycle.  He doesn’t even bother to get off the seat of his bike.  He now suggests or requests that we move down about 10 feet where there weren’t any rotten posts to lie up against.  So why didn’t he think of that earlier?  He specifically told us to go in behind the Grand Banks leaving “10 feet of space in between”.  So now after this ordeal we have to untie all the lines, walk her back and retie the whole shamoo again.  All the while we are doing this the big goof still sat on his bike chit chatting with everyone.  He didn’t even help with the power hook up but just pointed to where it was. 

OK I know this is a far cry from Palm Beach and didn’t expect to get the same treatment here but everywhere else we’ve been, all along this Intracoastal waterway, the marina staff has always helped boaters get docked because of these blasted finger posts and fixed docks, and when they do they are always generously rewarded by Larry with a big tip.  Well, it’s the dock master’s loss I guess because he easily could earn some extra money helping people dock their boats and it sure would be a lot safer for the boaters not having to jump off their boat onto this concrete wall. 

Larry reminded me that these were run by the city, in other words, the government and what did I expect?    Okay, enough said.

NOISE POLLUTION

Well, the first shock factor of staying here is the incredible decibel of noise pollution.  The bells and whistles and sound of the draw bridge opening and closing at every request, every few minutes, at all hours.  The nonstop high pitched sound of the cars going over the metal grill of the bridge, the nonstop sirens of the city, helicopters hovering and for what?, the planes flying from the nearby international airport, the cars and really loud motorcycles cruising by the docks gawking at the river and the boats, the loud speakers coming from the numerous tour boats and water taxis going by nonstop and of course the sounds of just the regular boats going by.  Oh, and don’t forget the “blow and go guys.”  Wow, it was incredible.  

WAKES

The next thing was the wakes.  Oh my gosh, they were terrible and non-stop.  The boats would go by and pretend they didn’t know what a NO WAKE ZONE meant (maybe they don’t after all we’re in Florida and they can’t figure out how to vote) and would wake everyone tied up to “the wall”.  The wake was doubled as it hit the concrete wall and then waked right back doing a double wake on us, and then it ran into the next wake from the following boat who also “forgot” it was a NO WAKE ZONE, and so on.  This went on and on and on, starting in the morning until late at night. 

For a short 1 minute video of the river ... CLICK HERE

Foa a second 30 sec video bring a Big Boat up at Night.....CLICK HERE

The city water taxis were absolutely the worst.  Larry would sit on the back of the boat and wave or signal to slow down pointing at their wake and by the end of our stay he’d given up being considerate and would just yell at them, me too for that matter.  We were definitely losing our cool if we ever had one and getting a bit crazy but just couldn’t help it.  It was a nonstop parade of boats and sightseers, a bit like Ego Alley in Annapolis but at least there no one waked you and nor did you have to deal with all the other surrounding noise. 

Larry would try to sit out on the back of the boat enjoying the weather and sights, as there is a lot to watch with all these boats going by, but I just couldn’t stand it and would just go inside and shut the door.  Ziggy was going nuts too and barking at the wakes when they splashed too much on the boat. 

THE GOOD?, THE BAD AND DEFINITELY THE UGLY

I’d say our stay could be described as the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. The next ugly were the bums that hung out by the boat.  The first morning I woke up there was one sleeping on a bench a few feet from the boat!   It didn’t take long before we realized there are several regulars that hang around the boats here.  They’d get drunk at night and talk loud but in the morning would be crashed on a bench with a hang-over in the morning.

Every time we’d leave the boat we’d put everything we thought they might be interested, things that we usually have on out on the cockpit, inside the boat behind locked doors and still worried about the boat.  You either worried about the bums or the wakes damaging the boat while you were gone here.  It was never relaxing here, well only in the middle of the night after the drunks passed out.

One day, one of them came up and knocked on the boat when Larry was out.  I came out to see what was going on and he asked me to get him a pen and paper so he could write down his name and number so that I could call him when we needed to work done on the boat.  It was obvious that he doesn’t do work on boats from the looks of him and his eyes were so blood shot that I knew he was on something. 

I told him “We don’t need anything done on our boat but thanks”.  He still insisted I get that pen and paper so we’d have his number when we got back from the Bahamas.  Well, I don’t know why he thought we were going to the Bahamas as we weren’t.  I told him this time that “Sorry, we won’t be coming back here.”  (That sure was the truth.)

Nothing would stop this guy and he again insisted I get him that pen and paper this time saying, “That’s not a problem as I travels all over to do work on boats”.  Finally, I said “NO THANKS, we have someone and he is the ONLY ONE that we allow to do work on our boat!” I guess that finally made him give up and he left. 

I don’t know what his scam was but I felt very uncomfortable after that the whole time we were staying here thinking he was going to come back and somehow sabotage the boat.  One boater that was docked nearby at the River Front Hotel said he would never dock his boat here unless he had a full time crew to leave on the boat because of the bums that hang around. 

BIG SURPRISE

I guess the last straw was when we saw one of them going through our trash can right by the boat, even while you are sitting in the back of your boat.  This is a terrible thing to admit but we don’t always put all our toilet paper down the toilet.  As all boaters know the tanks are temperamental and we just try to keep it all in good working condition and not to overload it with paper so we put some paper in sealed trash bags and dispose of it on shore in trash cans.  It’s all very clean and sanitary how we do it. 

Well, one morning we were emptying our trash in one of the cans by the boat and among other things that we put in the trash was the infamous toilet paper bag.  As we left that morning heading for a place for breakfast I glanced back at the boat and the sure enough they were going through our trash again that we just put in the can.   I guess they were in for a big surprise this morning.  We didn’t see anybody going through our trash after that.  (Sorry, I hope I didn’t offend anyone out there reading this.)

The only Good, part of the Bad and Ugly was that we were within walking distance of lots of things to see and do including several nice restaurants and shops, but that convenience to me couldn’t make up for the bad and ugly.

PS, DID I SAY THERE WEREN’T ANY SISSY DOGS IN FLORIDA WEARING SWEATERS?

Wrong, wrong, wrong.  Even when the weather was hot, they were dressed to the hilt in sissy outfits.

NO RENTAL CARS TO BE FOUND

We were in dire need of doing some major laundry as we scrimped our way in Palm Beach by doing some hand washing and hanging it out to dry.  But the towels, sheets and big items really needed a washing machine.  We decided we’d rent a car while we here as Larry needed some things at West Marine and I needed to provision and get some clothes and we’d be able to haul the laundry in it. 

Big problem though, as there were no rental cars available, none at all!  We don’t know why as unbelievable as it may seem.  We thought maybe it was because of the Boat Show but the Boat Show was over.  So there we sat waiting and hoping that someone would turn a car in so we could rent it and get some things done. 

Then just out of curiosity Larry went on the internet and found a cargo van for rent for $30!  So he called up and asked about it.  Yep, they had a cargo van, so he rented it.  It wasn’t $30 though as you have to pay additional $30 a day for commercial insurance because it was “a commercial vehicle.”

THE “COMMERCIAL” CARGO VAN

So when you are in a pinch, you rent a big cargo van for sixty bucks as day.  It had no comforts or side windows and was difficult to drive and especially hard to find a place to park it in crowded Fort Lauderdale. 

We threw in several bags of dirty laundry and headed up to Cooley’s Landing where the dock master said we could do our laundry.  That’s just up the river and is also part of the City Docks.  Of course, the laundry room was locked and the dock master is never there to open it up.  We weren’t the only ones trying to get our laundry done there but we all were met with a sign saying “Dock master out on the docks will be back soon”.  Well, he never came back after an hour and a half later and the sign was still there. 

OK, so we’ll go to West Marine and see if we can find a laundro-mat while we are out and about as this was definitely not going to work here at the City Docks.  Someone working at West Marine said there were two they knew about.  We found the first one and it was closed and the second was open.  So we unloaded everything and began to fill several washers.   That’s when I started to realize something was amiss. 

GAY LAUNDRO MAT

This was obviously a gay laundry!  Everyone in here was male and a couple.  We didn’t feel exactly too welcome at first when we started loading up the machines and maybe it was because we had so much laundry and were monopolizing too many machines.  When it was time to put the wash in the dryers though as usual in the world of laundro-mat-land, people put their “stuff” in the machines and then leave for hours not coming back to take the laundry out when done. 

I was getting pushy and impatient I guess asking the person on hand what about the clothes in the dryer that have been there sitting since we arrived.  I really just wanted to just get this over with as soon as possible.  I could tell I wasn’t being received too well as this was a neighborhood joint.  But before I had to deal with taking someone’s dry clothes out of the dryers, “the boys” finally came back and began to take their dried clothes out slowly one by one as they folded each piece before they took out another piece.  I was trying to be patient but this was ridiculous.  Larry finally broke the ice and told them “how nicely they folded their clothes” and after that we were in like flint.  Dryers became available and space to fold, etc. 

GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They do have a nice walking path along the river here but the bum factor made me feel unsafe.  I couldn’t stand all the noise either and the wakes were impossible for any sane person to tolerate, so got to tell you that this will be the last time Larry will get me to stay there. 

We stayed longer that I would have wanted because again we were waiting for Larry meds to work on his eye to make sure we could go on to the Keys or if we were going to have to head back north.  His eye started to make significant improvement so we felt comfortable planning to head to South Beach, Miami but it sure wasn’t soon enough for me. 

Sorry, this was a pretty grouchy log but things are looking up as we’re leaving tomorrow.  I can’t say everyone will feel the same way we did as some people that left the day after we arrived said they really enjoyed their stay here.  So go figure.  You’ve got to take everything with a grain of salt and everybody looks at things differently.