The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed
by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the
object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can
I cannot buy anything bigger
than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will
continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs can
actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to
sleep perpendicular stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I
also know that sticking your tail straight out and having your tongue
hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is
no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there
and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try
to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door
open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been
using the bathroom for years --canine attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me,
then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
Captain of the Knotty Dog